Dear mum and dad here is why I am a rebel

I had an argument with my mother the other day. I am not going to explain the entire thing because this is not about me but I talked bad at her and put on my earphones. I could see her talk but couldn’t care less what she was saying.

Was that disrespectful? I really don’t think so. Reason? I am a person who is slow to anger and respects people BUT I believe that respect is earned. I only treat people badly if they push me to the wall. So, disrespectful or not, it was not my fault.

Read more: Here is proof that you are turning into a looser 

Okay, I feel guilty though because having taken a unit on communication skills, I should know better. But then again, I stick to my defense; I was pushed to the wall. So, our heated argument got me to realize something important about why kids rebel. My mum and I rarely see eye to eye on a lot of things but being the calm and logic person I am, I always know how to handle it, well until am pushed to the wall. If it has been in other circumstances, I would have walked away and come back a few months later, or go out and do something stupid and somethings ad probably regret. Oh, wait, that’s exactly what I used do years ago LOL!

Anyway, imma cut thru the chase. Here are the 5 reasons why we become rebellious  against our loving parents (who think they are going a good job but are actually screwing things up)

1. You never listen.You just wait for me to finish talking so that you can talk. When I am talking, you are busy thinking what you are going to tell me once I finish talking.
2. You always assume that I am wrong. Seriously, this is so annoying. Why can’t you just assume for one second that am right.
3. I can see that look on your face when I make a suggestion or when I tell you about an idea I had. It’s not encouraging. It’s like you are disappointed.
4. Comparing me with someone else. That’s a no no. Why don’t you become their parent if you like them so much. I am who I am, get used to it.
5. You never give me a compliment. And I mean a compliment that is honest without adding a “but”.

Dr. Phil once advised a couple on communicating effectively, well talking without the yelling and screening. He told them to take 15 minutes each and pretend that your partner was right. This is what I have been using since. Okay unless when am pushed to the wall. But it works!!!

Read more: Thank God our relationship is over

 

Are You Turning into a Looser?

You are most likely jobless or stuck in a job you hate. It pays badly but you pretend that it’s the best job ever and everyone wishes they were in your shoes. When you get free time, you snoop on other people’s  twitter, Instagram and facebook accounts.

You see them with expensive clothes, great cars, friends, and the worst of them all, their partners. That woman with the great career, good money and then boom she just got engaged to a celebrity. Seriously? What’s next? You see their cute pictures, selfies of them hugging and kissing in public and you can’t even compare it with your  pathetic life.

READ MORE: HOW TO RELIEVE STRESS

Still on social media, you see them all happy and rich and you hate it. Why isn’t your boyfriend as handsome and rich? You wonder why your girlfriend couldn’t be as outgoing or why you cannot afford to have such a great life as the others. After you are done you start hating, that’s when you start looking at the flaws in the pictures and posts.

READ MORE: THAT WOMAN WHO HAS A BETTER LIFE THAN YOU

Kumbe the dress isn’t thaaaat nice. I could get that too if I wanted to. That hairstyle looks awful on her. That relationship won’t last. This is when you move on to the gossip blogs that look on the bad side. Which celebrity went broke, Who broke up with who. Who embarrassed herself where etc. It’s actually comforting. I know I have been there. You feed your soul to the downfall of others, and comfort yourself that you are much better when in reality, you are just a poor pathetic sap with internet connection.

Give your life an about turn and start living. Log off from the internet (Well after you finish reading this article) Put aside your computer or phone. Talk to a friend. Have a chat with the person next to you.

Discover who you are and what you want then work on being you. Most of all, have fun!! Enjoy each and every day without having to worry what anyone else did or wore today. Hug someone, laugh and just be you. You are only a looser if you choose to feel like one.

READ MORE: SPICE UP YOUR LOVE LIFE

The man you love or the man who loves you? Who would you choose?

God gives us two kinds of men to pick from. The first one is the man who loves you deeply. This man is truly in love with you and ready to spend their entire life making or rather trying to make you happy. He is always there when you need him and he will never break your heart, well at least not willingly.

READ MORE: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IN LOVE?

Though you love him, it will never be as much as he loves you. You secretly wish he would cheat on you so that you have a card to play the next time you are in the wrong but he never does. He might not be the most romantic guy in the world but Lord knows he tries. Sometimes you’re even scared to tell him what you want because he will break his back to try and make you happy. You want fresh roses every night? “Of course honey. I love you” He gets them for you no questions asked.

And when he can’t afford them anymore, he feels he let you down. If you are a good woman, this hurts you too.  But your inner woman wants to punish him for staying. You want to piss him off until he decides to leave you rather than you leaving and being the one who ended the relationship. You figure this is a great idea. “If we break up on something that was his fault it will be easier for me to get back with him once my 2^nd and 3^rd options fail”

READ MORE: I AM NOT THAT INTO YOU

The other guy is the one whom you love and you are 50/50 about whether or not he loves you back. Chances are, he doesn’t. You are in love with this man and you always have sweaty hands before picking up his calls. You love him so much but after hanging up, that’s when you get the courage to say”I love you”.

The worst thing about it is that this guy only calls when he needs something. Well, maybe not all of them. Maybe he calls because he cares about you as a friend or a close friend but you are scared.

What if you tell him how you feel and it turns out that he doesn’t feel the same. Then you end up making the entire relationship all awkward. Worse still, if you are already in another relationship. How do you leave the man who loves you for the man you are not sure loves you or not.

READ MORE: WHY YOU NEED TO BE GLAD YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER

I have never seen any happy relationship where both partners love each other equally. There is always that person who loves the other more. There is also that partner who is waiting on a greener pasture so that they could exist as fast as they can. This partner never loved their spouse, they were in the relationship because their spouse loved or begged too much and they gave in.

So, does your partner love you or are you with him/her because he/she loves you? And you probably think that no one else will ever love you the way he/she does?

Think about it.

What are your Sexual Fantasies?

I was in a public bus the other day and I guess one of the best things about not being a “phone person” I got to chill, enjoy the ride. Yes, I am serious, you can enjoy being in a public service vehicle. Most of the times especially in the mornings, almost everyone is usually on one social media platform or another.

People texting,  whats apping, making calls etc. Some of us could also do that but we choose not to. Instead, we enjoy being quiet and enjoying the view outside the window, reading a book or thinking about nothing.

Anyway, I was on the bust the other day and listening to a morning show. I heard something really interesting about sexual fantasies. Somehow, I have a feeling I am the only one in a 20+ seater bus who heard it with everyone else preoccupied with their phones and all..just saying. So this love doctor was advising couples to share their sexual fantasies.

READ MORE ON : HOW TO BE A GREAT LOVER

Ladies, have you ever dated that guy who just did things? He goes in, does what he thinks should be done and gets out thinking he is the King of the jungle or something. Yet he left you hanging. You are not sure what he did exactly. You are just bored and want to get some sleep.  Well, this could be partly your fault. A boring sex life I believe is as a result of poor communication.

If you love someone and are probably married to them, how hard is it to tell them what exactly you want in bed. What turns you on, what turns you off… What you would like to try. Not all suggestions may work but you never know until you try right?

READ MORE: HOW TO KNOW WHEN A WOMAN IS NOT INTO YOU

To all them men out there, quit being insecure. Just because a woman wants to try a new position it doesn’t necessarily mean that she has been having an affair. So what is she watched a bit of porn and wants to turn it up a bit in the bedroom? Making love should be satisfying for all participants otherwise it won’t be complete. Don’t just have sex, have great sex.

If you cannot get the courage to tell your partner what you want, then there must be something wrong with the relationship. If your partner won’t give your ideas a chance, then that tells you a lot about them you really need not forget. Because if your partner loves you and wants to sexually satisfy you, then it beats logic why they would refuse to implement your ideas.

 

Make your Skin Youthful Right at Home

First things first, do you know what a facial scrub is? More importantly, why is it so important for your skin? Well, it’s about time you did. Facial scrubs make your skin glow. It becomes smoother and looks healthier too.

So, how do facial scrubs work?

A scrub is what it sounds, it scrubs your face to wash or slough the dead skin cells off your skin. This then leaves the fresh healthier and younger looking skin behind. It also opens up you pores by cleaning out the dirt and oils accumulated and makes you feel clean and rejuvenated.

Why are we going homemade?

1. It’s cheaper. Yes ladies and gentlemen. It’s the middle of the month right now but that is no excuse for a dull looking aged skin. As in who doesn’t have maize flour in their homes?
2. It’s easy and convenient. You just got home from work and between the kids, making dinner and your husband you can’t think of your skin. During the weekend you are also trying to be super mum. So why not apply the scrub while in the kitchen making dinner or in the morning making breakfast. Let it work for you
3. You are not reaaally sure what is in those chemical scrubs. There are really good scrubs in shops actually and I have used one of them but that does not mean there isn’t some bad ones too. Some women however, will choose to be all natural and not take chances
4. It is sweet. I use lemon, honey and sugar for most of my scrubs. sweeeet

 

Precautions

Your skin may react to some of the ingredients you choose to use despite them being natural. For this reason, you could try them out prior to going to bed or during the weekend when your skin can get time to recover.

Don’t mix up too many ingredients at a go. Start small. This week try avocado oil with sugar, next you can do olive oil and coffee grains and so on and so forth until you discover what works for your skin.

Do your research. What’s your skin type and what is recommended for the skin type (by a professional) What ingredient has the properties you need. Don’t just put food stuff on your face because your neighbor told you about it. Research research research

Additionally, people are different and so are their skins- if that makes sense. So what may work you might not work for someone else

 

Before applying the scrub, our face should be clean and moist, with no makeup on. Areas to scrub more are those that are always dry or those which you want to brighten up a bit. Scrub in a circular motion.

You do not have to do it daily, twice or thrice in a week will do the trick. After that rinse with warm water and dry gently using a clean towel and apply some moisturizer.

Got any other ideas? Leave us a reply

 

There is NO such thing as “SAFE SEX”

Yes, there is no such thing as safe sex. What does one even mean by the term “safe sex” anyway? Safe from what? HIV, safe from other STD’s or safe from getting pregnant? The moment you choose to take off your clothes and let a man or woman touch and do all kinds of stuff to your body, you should be ready for the consequences.

Condoms

They break!  And that is obvious so I am not going to dwell on it. Using condoms as a method of making sex “safe” should be done properly and consistently. There are actually people out there having sex using condoms and they have NEVER had someone show them how a condom works. They are just winging it. They met a new girl or boy, got the free condoms and connected two and two together and voila. They tell themselves they are having “safe sex”.

If you are one of these people and you are reading this, do yourself a favor and get to a VCT, GET A HIV test, some counseling and most importantly learn how to use a condom. I know you are tempted to but do not ask your friend how it works. Get a professional to explain it to you. You will be surprised by some of the things you thought you knew but actually don’t. However, and most importantly, even if you do use a condom properly, it still does not 100% make sex safe.

Pills, injections, implants…

I don’t even know where to start. But let me just ask. Will the injections and pills meant to keep me from getting pregnant also protect me from sexually transmitted infections? I rest my case

 

Withdrawal and using the “other place”

I am not sure why I even listed this as a point but awell. You might get away without a pregnancy but there are worse things that you can get from your sex partner (assuming you are afraid of an infection more that you are of a pregnancy).

In conclusion, there is no such thing as safe sex. If you are going to have sex whether you are using contraceptives or not it will have consequences. So, my advice is, if you are not ready for anything then stay out of it. ABSTAIN! There is a very good reason why sex was meant for married people.

His Phone is Password Protected.Why? What could He be Hiding?

I do not password protect my phone not because I do not have anything to hide but because I trust that the people around me including my partner will respect my privacy. I am also not the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone and if I do touch his phone it will be for a reasonable reason and I will not do anything other than that which I wanted to do in the first place. Me not going through his phone does not mean that I trust him it’s because I neither have the time nor the energy to do so.

So, why does a guy password protect his phone? What could be in there? Dirty videos, dirty pictures, contacts of women who he does not want you to know about… Lord knows.

I do not blame the women who wake up in the middle of the night to go through their boyfriend’s or husband’s phone. That is one of the ways we can actually get to know what men are thinking. Going through his phone is the only way she can really tell where your heart is as well. If she finds pictures of women’s behinds then it means you like behinds, same case with boobs and all that kind of stuff.

She might not necessarily be looking for evidence to prove that you are not being faithful to her. A man’s phone sometimes is like the woman’s handbag. Closely and carefully going through it, you can tell so much about the woman.

On the other hand, not protecting your phone with a password is like leaving your house without closing the door. Whether or not there is something expensive in the house, leaving it open never feels right. In any case, once you leave, you always double check whether you have locked it properly. There might not always be reasonable people around you who will have no business going though your phone.

You might also not have anything incriminating or company secrets on your phone but you never know what kind of people, their intentions and what kind of things they can do with the information on your phone.

My computer has more personal and work information than my phone so I keep it super password protected. When I have someone use it, I usually hide some of the files. Call it paranoid but my computer is my private space and I guess that’s what the men with password protected phones feel too.

If you want to know more about a guy, then spend more time with him or just be a good listener. Going through his phone only makes you look crazy, insecure and desperate. If after all that time you have been with him you still can’t trust him, then maybe you need to rethink the entire relationship because what is love without trust?

 

Be honest, how often do you go through his phone?

 

 

 

 

How to Date the Silent Man

I dated this guy once; he was honest, loving and well honest. The problem was that he was too silent. What made this bad was that when someone around me is too silent, I tend to talk a lot and I mean A LOT, I used to talk about everything even things I shouldn’t be talking about that early in a relationship.

Another problem was that just because he was silent most of the time, I assumed he was listening. So I thought I had found a perfect listening and thoughtful boyfriend. Unfortunately or fortunately, he was day dreaming most of the time.

Long story short he turned out to be…I don’t know how to say it…I think he was afraid of me or something. There was a day he actually blushed and it was NOT cute. Very awkward veery very awkward indeed.

Anyway, some men are actually good listeners, some men are good men. Men who care and are not afraid to say what needs to be said. They just say it when it needs to be said. So if you like a guy or are dating a guy who is the silent type, do not dismiss him just yet. I might have had a bad experience, but I learnt a thing or two that will help you through dating the next silent guy you will like.

One of the most important tips is to focus on the positive side of his nature

Silent guys are well, pretty much silent but you can be sure that when he talks it will be from the heart. In case of a misunderstanding, he is very much less likely to hurl insults or talk carelessly. This will give you both time to calm down and eventually talk about it soberly. The chances of a silent guy cheating on you are quite low. Did I mention honesty? Yes, an introvert is a really honest guy. He is honest to himself, to you and the relationship as well.

If you are an assertive person, you need to start practicing being patient. Do not pester him with too many questions; listen to him without interrupting him all the time and again, stop with the many follow-up questions. Are you okay, what will you have are you sure, what you will have, are you okay, what were you about to say… Sometimes you can just chill and enjoy being silent together and watch a movie or something. If the guy is too shy to talk about his feelings, this sort of environment will make it easier for him to open up.

When he opens up, listen. Listen and do not interrupt him. Neither should you forget what he said. Finally, the relationship might move a bit slower than it should but patience patience patience.

Are you dating or married to an introvert, a silent or shy guy? How is it like?

So You Think He Will Pop The Big Question Once You Move In With Him?

 

Living together before marriage, where do I even start. I have never met a young woman who got married after having lived with her boyfriend. Yes, that’s harsh especially for the first paragraph but its true. Choosing to live with your boyfriend before marriage reduces your chances of walking down the aisle much less while you are still young.

There are various religious stands as well as moral and cultural stands when it comes to cohabitation before marriage but personally, I believe that every woman above the age of 18 should be allowed to decide and do what makes them happy. We should not judge any woman who decided to live or not to live with their boyfriend nor should we patronize them.

When it comes to cohabiting before marriage, I will be sharing my opinion right at the end of this article. In the mean time, if you are considering cohabiting, try not to do it if you are not on the same page with your partner. He might think it is a free ride and no commitment kind of thing while you are completely on a different boat.

I bet he is asking himself, what is the difference between this arrangement and getting married? I mean why do I need to pop the question if I am already getting what I want. Think about it, if he puts a ring on it, he will actually have to work hard to make the marriage work. Whether its conflict, financial trouble or anything else that comes your way as a couple.

However, if he doesn’t put a ring on it, he will still get a sex partner, be treated like a husband and when things turn sour, he has no obligation to stay and fight for the relationship. Oh yes, I have heard ladies try and turn this point around. Pretend all you want that you do not want a commitment either but girl, you are not getting any younger and we know you are always secretly praying for a ring.

An interesting reason why we choose to co habit is that we want to know if we are compatible before we get married. For this point, I am just going to use this interesting research from marriagemissions.com. According to marriagemissions.com, research indicates that couples who cohabit before marriage have a 50% higher divorce rate than those who don’t.

These couples also have higher rates of domestic violence and are more likely to be involved in sexual affairs. If a cohabiting couple gets pregnant, there is a high probability that the man will leave the relationship within two years, resulting in a single mom raising a fatherless child.

Source: marriagemissions.com.

Scary right? Want more?

But a large body of recent evidence now shows quite consistently that people who cohabit and then marry are much more likely to divorce than people who marry without living together. Research conducted by Lee Lillard and Michael Brien shows that people who cohabit have other characteristics that both lead them to cohabit in the first place and make them poor marriage material.

Source: The communitarian network

In a 2009 study, Dr. Galena Rhoades, a Research Associate Professor at University of Denver, found that those who cohabited before marriage reported lower marriage satisfaction and more potential for divorce than couples who waited until they were engaged or married to make the big move

Source: HuffPost divorce

I know you hate me or your boyfriend by know but you know what, people are different. Your relationship is what YOU AND YOUR PARTNER make it. The decision to move in or not to move in, should be based on how you feel and what you want. It will, of course have its pros and cons and so does every decision we make in life.

Do I move in or not? The answer is, there is no right or wrong answer, my opinion is that life is what we make it.

How to Get your Ex boyfriend Back

Things happened, one thing led to another and you broke up with the man you loved. Worry no more, you can still get him back and here are tips to help you do so.

Are you sure you want him back?

It’s not just about his heart, get into his head too

You know what he likes, you know how he thinks, then use it to your advantage. Let him know what you have to offer not just when it comes to matters of the heart but mind and physically too 😉

Get yourself together!

Do not beg, cling or look desperate. Compose yourself, create a warm environment and it will increase your chances of getting him back. To help you with this, read the next point carefully.

 

Why why why?

Why did you guys break up in the first place? You can’t start something new if you fail to deal with what caused the break up in the first place. If you were wrong, apologize. Do not beg him to forgive you, do not rush him either.

The magic rule

Ever heard of the no contact rule? I am not sure who came up with it but he/she was a genius. So what you do is cut him off. Don’t pick up his calls or call him, no texting, basically, no contact. This will give you both time to think, compose yourselves and relax. Do this for about a month and I bet he will be calling first to ask how you are doing.

This is a sensitive period and you might feel sad most of the times, so try not to be depressed. Hang out with friends that will make you feel better, take up a sport, treat yourself to spa days, learn something new like swimming. Try not to buy or sell something big or quit your job either! If you live together, work together or just live around the same place, you are bound to run into each other. Not to worry, keep your conversations mature, to the point and pleasant. Smile but do not be all weird and awkward.

Things will not be the same between you two. The sooner you realize that the better. And this is actually a good thing. If the way you handled the relationship ended up in a break up, then why would you want to do it the same way again. Use point 1 to make the new relationship better and by better I mean stronger.

Be ready for anything

Things might not work out as you had hoped for, it will be painful but gear up for that. The truth is, there is no sure way to get a man back. Using these tips will increase your chances but people and relationships are different too.

How did you get your ex back? Share your magic tips